i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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