i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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