Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.

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(681): View more from West Virginia

Where are I am going home with Ryan

(601): View more from Mississippi

I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it

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(973): View more from New Jersey

gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.

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(623): View more from Arizona

I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.

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(214): View more from Texas

My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.

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(760): View more from California

If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now

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(563): View more from Iowa

Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?

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