also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
