I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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