He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
