i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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