tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize