Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
