I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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