She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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