So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I am naked and annoyed.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
