They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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