is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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