so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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