Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
