this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
