Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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