I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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