that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
