He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
