We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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