I don't think brook has ever known best
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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