is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize