"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
