id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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