Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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