hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
