She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
