let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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