I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
