your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
