your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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