I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
