OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
