You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
