i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
