I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
