apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
