I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
