Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
