This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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