Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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