Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We left an ass print on the piano.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
