Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I faked an abortion last night.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
