If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
