Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
