eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
