so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
