dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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