if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize