Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
