I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
