I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
