It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
