I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You are the jesus of drinking
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
