he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
