Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
