goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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